FUBAR

I fuck myself up
about every other night
on bottles
but sometimes boys
and even when I get screwed
I realize I screw myself
because I allow them into
my pain
by hiding
the hollowness
of being
without the one
that made sense
of this life of being
Fucked
Up
Beyond
All
Repair
I'm hurt,
and I cannot show my wounds
but who would want to see
but who would want to hear
me repeat
Black and Blue
Black and Blue
because no one understands
since they want to see Brown and Red
but I sort of see the Red
because I'm bleeding
and there is no proper way to end
this