Clear Conclusions

I place
placeholders
for emotions
lost in past
presents
who am I?
lost and forbidden?
lost and forbidden.
saints not knowing
names and places
I place
years in instead
of names
logic
instead of shame
I never realized sooner
I figure it's best to
forbide
clear conclusions
because repeating
might sink
best intentions
because these are
the worst situations
forget
forgive
forbide
forsaken
I have taken
the Joker of Spades
the Jack of Trades

Seconds

Take a piece of me
when you walk out of the door
I'll take the remants of
summertime

Second time
Second year
Second chances
Missing Seconds

Take the peace of me
you wanted
then I'll walk away
wanting

Second wasted
Second year
Second first
Missing Seconds

Seeing in the Dark

Until recently, I've been quite an optimistic person. Knowing that everyone is not perfect, I let people that have get away with more then I should have without much fuss. There really was no point in calling people out on their behavior or decisions, except in the hopes that they would want to change them. At that point, it's not best to say their faults unless they ask. It would take so much time, and it's ruder then I would like to be.

As I have gotten older, my patience towards people that have done me wrong has wanned. Time has provided me the ability to cut off people I should know better then to hang out with. Chance has provided me the ideal model to let go of my unwarranted optimism by my professor in cynicism; Sophia Lamar.

Sophia Lamar used to be on my favorite podcast, in a section called; "What Sophia Lamar hates." Which is exactly what it sounds like, each week she would come on and say something that week that she hates. Now, for years I thought her part was funny but sort of pointless except to have her on it. It was a year ago when she was complaining about a certain group of people, and provided wisdom to unhinge the doors of my rose tinted glasses. She was calling out people that were fake, and went on a tiny rant about how people should be who they are and not copy what others want or who others are. Forget all those other people, they are shitty or crummy; and why would you want to adknowledge their existance.

As someone who at least values their uniqueness; it has hard to find people that are unique in factors that are the same. So judging people offhand is awful to do, because there would be very little people that I could converse with. Letting people get away with social context murder. After an awful year, I have seemed to wittle at my optimism and allowed to call a deuce a deuce. Leaving me in the middle of the night, without a light; but seeing in the dark, is seeing nothing at all.

Rubberbands and Paperclips

Held together by rubberbands and paperclips
streamlined and destined for
hands and thoughts
of one
of trillions
bottled with cork
alone
with these hands
driven insane
by thoughts

Absent History

Everyone says the main reason behind taking History classes, is so we don't repeat the past. In reality, it teaches two points.

Life isn't far, if you take a Sociology class you will learn this as well in spades. Don't believe the lie, that all men are created equal. We are all products of the nature of our parents, which thrusts us into the nuture that they're nature has created. It's sort of a hive complex, because we are hardwired to more likely think a certain way, and with the basis of the nuture by our parent's culture to share the same groups of people. The best defense against this case is our own groups, which are based upon nature and rebellion that is based on the nuture of the nature.

Secondly it provides those that are okay with abusing the system to have a clearer view of how to do so. Slavery ended almost 150 years ago, and equal rights were granted until around 100 years later. Oposition towards African Americans and anyone that is remotely different is still the same as it has ever been. There weren't any lessons learned from the Civil War except that if you try to separate from the government; it will take you down. Look at big business, while many people currently are learning about Business in the Gilded Age from 1870 to 1900. While somethings have changed, the larger issue is still at hand. Big business is allowed to get away with too much, only at the hands of middle to low class citizens.

Throughout the lessens of History, it seems that for the large part that people are not created equal, and those that tend to fair better for themselves care little about those who have had no control over their caste. We are products of our families and our communities, there is nothing special about who we are except what that creates. Life like a roll of a dice, crap shoot.

One Hand

We all tend to stay up late
with one hand under the pillow
usually on a side
with thoughts on the perimeter
maybe you read
or maybe you write
words never written
by candlelight
for we live in different times
and eons have past
decades welcoming
towards decimation
so what do you think
while you try to sleep
mistakes
joy
pain
or the one who was never there
to even betray